Gambit Goes to Confession
by emmymae
Summary: Gambit gets more than he bargained for when he at last decides to confess his sins.  Not the best summary, sorry.  Please read and review.  Oneshot.


Disclaimer: Gambit, the X-Men, and all related characters and likenesses are the property of the Marvel Company. Superman is the property of DC Comics. The priest is my own creation. This is a work of fan fiction and no profit is being made from it.

**Gambit Goes to Confession**

_St. Louis Cathedral. A priest sits in a chair on one side of a screen. There is another chair opposite of it. Gambit comes in looking quite chagrined and sits down in the empty chair._

**Gambit: **Bless me father, f'r I have sinned. It's been 'bout 15 years since m'last confession.

**Priest: **Oh, dear. _(Catches himself.) _What have you ta confess mah son?

**Gambit: **How much time d'ya have?

**Priest: **All tha time under heaven. Well, 'till 'bout four-thirty.

**Gambit: **Bien. Better get dis outta de way. _(Long pause.) _

**Priest: **Yes. Ah'm listenin'.

**Gambit: **So where ya from?

**Priest: **What does that have ta with anythin'? Alabama. Ya gonna confess or not? Ah don't have all day. Ya couldn't possibly have done anythin' Ah ain't heard before.

**Gambit: **Prob'ly get alotta t'ieves dis bein' the mother church.

**Priest: **What tha hell are ya talkin' about!? This is St. Louis Cathedral, N'awlins. Ever heard of it?-

**Gambit: **I was born an' raised here. Don' need t'get too touchy, homme.

**Priest: **Why tha hell would there be thieves comin' ta tha church!?

**Gambit: **Never mind dat. _(A beat.) _I been a t'ief m'entire life. Started as a pick-pocket on de streets. Den I was adopted by de head o'de T'ieves Guild-

**Priest: **Tha what? Young man, Ah don't think ya need a priest. Ya need a psychiatrist.

**Gambit: **Already met one o'dose. He was actual'y a Psychologist.

**Priest: **And has yoah friend helped ya out any?

**Gambit: **Never took him up on de offer. Well, anyhow, on t'confessin'-

**Priest: **'Bout time ya nut-job.

**Gambit: **I heard dat. _(A beat.) _Ok, so I became one o'de best t'ieves in de entire world-

**Priest: **Ya know tha ten commandments include "Thou shalt not steal"-

**Gambit: **Like I got alotta choice in de mat'er. I was raised wit' it.

**Priest: **God's grace allows us ta overcome such things. Ya ever prayed, son?

**Gambit: **Tha name's Remy by th' way. Ain't prayed since de X-Men left me t'die in Antarctica. Ya get left dere you'd be prayin' too, homme-

**Priest: **_(Dumbfounded.)_ Who are you?

**Gambit: **To my friends it's Remy LeBeau, to my enemies it's Gambit. (adapted from Uncanny X-Men #361)

**Priest: **Ya have two names...like Superman? Yoah a super-hero-

**Gambit: **An' a t'ief.

**Priest: **How'd ya manage that one?

**Gambit: **Skilled writers.

**Priest: **Huh? Lord, help me, Ah've lost mah marbles.

**Gambit: **Les' jus' agree dat we ain't fr'm de same reality.

**Priest: **Yoah one of tha X-Men, lahke those movies with Hugh Jackman.

**Gambit: **I wasn' in de films.

**Priest: **Sorry. Ah can only help yoah soul, not yoah film career.

**Gambit: **Alright, real quick. I lead some real bad people into de sewers o'New York so dey could massacre dese innocent people. I didn' know dat was gonna happen, I swear. It was f'r de man I worked f'r. Ain't never forgiven m'self dat.

**Priest: **It ain't easy, but, Remy, yoah gotta know that God is gonna forgive ya an' yoah gonna have ta forgive yaself.

**Gambit: **I lied t'my teammates 'bout it.

**Priest: **Understandable. It's hard ta be honest 'bout things lahke that.

**Gambit: **I've slept wit' alotta women an' none o'them were m'wife-

**Priest: **You've committed adultery?

**Gambit: **Non. Was only married t'her f'r an hour when 'er brother attacked me-

**Priest: **Ah'm not gonna ask how that went.

**Gambit: **I've never married th' woman I love, but I have slept wit' 'er more'n once.

**Priest: **Why not? Sex outside of marriage is a sin.

**Gambit: **She can't usually touch nobody. She absorbs people's powers, life energy, mem'ries, dat sort o't'ing.

**Priest: **That really doesn't make any sense ta meh.

**Gambit: **Didn' think it would. Her name's Rogue if you're wondering.

**Priest: **She doesn't have a real name?

**Gambit: **It's Anna-Marie, but she doesn' answer to it. In fact, she didn' reveal it f'r 'bout 23 years.

**Priest: **Are yoah done? Yoah covered 'bout ev'ry category of sin there is.

**Gambit: **Yes. Ya could jus' say all o'de above an' dat'd cover it.

**Priest: **Well, yoah penance is ta stop yoah sinful behavior, pray ta God for mercy on ya soul as often as ya can, marry that woman...an' stay tha hell outta mah church!

**Gambit: **Done deal!

_He exits. The priest puts his head in his hands._


End file.
